When Running to Escape No Longer Works

Lately, I’ve been experiencing some pretty bad symptoms of burnout. It’s not the first time I’ve found myself here, but this time it feels a lot heavier than ever before. I’ve reached out for help in the form of psychotherapy to try to better understand the root causes and also how to manage things. It’s been very beneficial, but I’ve got a ways to go still.

For many years, running has been a helpful refuge from this kind of work/life stress. It was a reset button I could press midway through the workday. Especially since COVID (when my company transitioned to 100% remote work), I would often bust out of the basement office at lunchtime and get in 6-8kms of me time. A podcast or audio book would provide some entertainment or learning and it really helped to take my mind off whatever situations or stressors that my job was offering up that day.

But that’s changed recently. I still run three or sometimes four weekdays plus my weekend runs, but it hasn’t been working the way it used to. Instead of escaping, I now find myself carrying all the overwhelming thoughts along with me. I can put on a podcast and at the end of the run, I don’t even remember what it was about because my brain was too busy processing thoughts of doom and dread and the podcast just went in one ear and out the other.

As I said to my therapist the other day, being alone with my thoughts is not a great place to be lately. Needless to say, it’s been a difficult summer. As someone who is quite literally a professional problem solver in my day job as a product manager, not being able to quickly identify a root cause and apply a solution has proven to be very frustrating.

I thought for a long time that I could get through what I was dealing with by using various coping strategies, but eventually those stopped working. That was the big flashing sign for me that I needed to seek help. I can confidently say that psychotherapy works. Having good supports in my relationships at home and at work has been a big help as well. If you are struggling with mental health, burnout, depression or anything else, do ask for help.